Change

Things have certainly changed these days. Let’s not even talk about people. I came to realise, in just a flick of a second, people that I regard as friends can turn into someone completely different. Call me naive, I’ve always hold on to the core of myself in which, I will not lose my true self despite anything. So far, I’m still very much myself since young and not ashamed to admit that I am immature, imperfect and make mistakes along the way.

My friends, without doubt has evolved. One in particular has become distant and would only flock in his newfound colony. While some, has created subset of friends from workplace, family’s friends, acquaintances from networking and things of that nature. It’s only natural, after all people change.

I wonder sometimes, does these ‘friends’ think about me. I went as far as to think am I not valuable to them. I’ve always make conscience attempts to make sure everyone is around when there is a gathering. It’s just not fair to conveniently leave out someone from an activity. I lament over the fact that an invitation is not extended to group travels, movie nights or even a short lunch. I suppose I pose no value to a friendship to not even get a text that there is a lunch somewhere. Have I changed ‘til I’m not approachable for social get-together or the people around me has made a well-thought agenda that I am not part of them.

These days, I can relate more to colleagues and acquaintances of the same industry. I think I’ve spent more hours with them than any of my friends of late. My concerns are focused to them when they face pressing situations and vice versa. Are they also blessed with the type of friends that I have that now we have a certain bond? It’s disheartening to realise that I am sharing most of my thoughts, issues and circumstances with people that I only know for a couple of months compared to friends to whom I’ve grown up with. Though I am grateful, I truly wish to be able to share things with my friends. I just thought they ought to know what I go through. Perhaps, I am not as interesting as Air Asia’s zero fare promotion.

Naturally, I find myself entangled in a quest to talk to people that I can relate to and the state of affairs leads to liaisons and attraction. Both parties assimilate to a common chemistry which either sides expecting a relationship.

My sister shared with me an unexpected pearl of wisdom when I was 17. She said, “When you grow older, you will know who your true friends are”. Thus far, I do know. Though, change is imminent. Time will tell.